I am 17 years old almost 18. I have dealt with suicidal thoughts since I could remember. I always thought I was a burden and that any misfortune that fell on my mom was my fault. I got sexually abused when was 4 by cousin of my stepdad. Then when I was 15 up until I was 16 by my stepdad who I had know all my life and considered my father. When I finally told my mom, everything that I held in and ignored came out. My thoughts of suicide became so loud that I could not ignore anymore. And at times everything becomes too much for me that I can't function normally. And I wish I could reach out to my mom but she has so much on her plate that have to comfort myself. If I ever have anxiety or a panic attack I calm myself down. But it always comes back without fail. No matter how much I want to end it I remind myself how selfish I am. And although I feel guilt and shame for having those thoughts I have stay for my mom who has been through so much for me. But I unfortunately feel so alone.
It was so beautiful and I has struck a chord within me. I am very thankful for this game.
Ive had suicidal thoughts for awile now to, crying myself to sleep thinking about where ill end up, never really believed in god, but we all end up somewhere, whether it be a good job, or all over a sidewalk next to a building. But i have things in my life to keep me here, a caring bf and a stable family and life. Well im shaking because this is a sensitive topic for me and 1 of the 3 things that make me cry emotionally, so i hope your life gets better, and you dont end up like me, someone who wants to die, but is to scared to slide the knife.
I know it can be painful to live because we may be anchored by external forces. I used to think that the love people gave me is something bad and that they should stop giving me so much love so I can finally get rid of myself.
Honestly, I still suffer from suicidal ideation and it takes me awhile before I can get back up.
But right now, I think I was wrong for convicting the love that people gave me. It's something they so openly gave and yet I kept thinking that it was nothing but a hindrance to my permanent rest and bliss. I still do want some rest but I think I've learned that I don't need to be gone so soon.
There's still a lot of things I want to learn, so many things I want to try to do once I'm better, so many stories I want to know, and so many things I want to create. These things I lose sight of when I'm back in that really dark abyss of self-loathing but time and time again the bonds that I have helped me remember. These bonds aren't exclusive to family and friends as well. There's much media I've consumed that helped on keeping me alive. I'm hoping that the stuff I make is something that can do that as well.
When you're having a hard time, I hope you give yourself more time to appreciate how far you've come and the people you cherish. I hope that you're able to find inner peace or at least find enough love and determination to keep going forward.
I think I know how you feel when it comes to not being able to open up to others knowing that they're already struggling with their own problems. You have to learn how to deal with yourself and whatever's bringing you down. It's hard and it takes a lot of courage to keep going. I hope that you're doing better now and that you're able to say the things you want to say to the people important to you.
Honestly, I think I've come to terms knowing that my depression will never really be gone. I don't think it'll be completely gone for anyone as well. Now it's just a matter of learning how to live with it and finding the things that give me life. Finding things that make me love myself again is something I'm trying my best to do everyday.
A lot of times I can't do this on my own and I am lucky to have friends and family. Not everyone is as fortunate. I hope that this past year you were able to healthily deal with loneliness, love yourself, and even gain more fruitful relationships that help you as a person.
Thank you for playing the game and I wish you the best.
It's scary how much I was like this just a year ago. Change is hard, really really hard, but it's worth it. It just took a long time to find something worth fighting for.
This story hits hard and gives the message straight to the point. (I almost started tearing up when the sister started going "Ate??") Thank you for making this.
//TW it's scary how much i relate to this,, this is v accurate to my experience last year. i think it's hard to think about but also really important for us to understand depression and ideation in order to make it less taboo and make it more comfortable for everyone to reach out. amazing game,, i loved it
This is a really well written game. Very sad and difficult to grapple with. I think you're onto something here. Keep working at it and you might have a story that might change many lives for the better, preferably without the loss of lives.
This game is good, and i'm depressed.(i made an account because of this.)
i am from the philippines and it seems the creator too,(i guess)
I have a depression since i was 6 years old, i am so depressed and tired of my life.
Keep talking to myself saying "Why do i exist? do i need to live? i'm nothing, i'm useless, i'm helpless, i'm a mistaken child, i don't deserve a family. I just want to die while smiling, my heart hurts so bad every night i cry ti'll my eyes hurt. But this is fine, i want to be tortured." Sometimes i laugh insanely and hurt myself badly, i'm so tired so i promised myself when 3 strike, i kill myself. There's 2 strikes and my end is coming near, i keep giving up because of bully. They judge me for who i am, but they only became my friend because i'm funny. I have a one best friend, who only truly understands me, i am addicted to online games because people who's on online games understands me too like my best friend. I have a one classmate who likes to ruin everything to my life, and i always smile even it hurts. This is true, "The nicest person gets hurt a lot the most." When i was 8 i point a knife into my neck, but my family came so it didn't happen. If i didn't kill myself and i turned 18, i'll start killing people. I'm just wasting my life, promise aren't meant to be broken, so i did the 3 strike. I always sing when i'm alone because they hate when i sing, but sing well. But they do not like me so they don't like anything to me, my parents only cares about my grades. So i don't tell anything about my exams or anything, because when they see it, they're dissapointed and probably ground me. My family keep saying to me "Your nothing but a naive child!" "Your so stupid!" "You don't know nothing in the world!" "your so lazy!" my sister agrees too..."youre so annoying" "i won't ever love you" "buy your own!" "faster! i don't have much time!" "ahaha your ugly ____." i have many more problems in this world, can't fight my depression. "I'm not perfect, they want me to be perfect." Sadness is always on me
Please don't kill yourself. You never know, something good might be waiting for you in the future. Have you seen a doctor/therapist? I think getting professional help would be good for you.
But I recommend going to a licensed therapist and talking about this with your parents. If you are unable to talk about this with your parents please go to your local counselor (if you have a school counselor you could try that) or contacting a crisis center. You may refer to this link if ever you feel suicidal again: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
You need to take steps to get better. It's ultimately your choice. Please take care of yourself.
I don't want anyone in real life to know this... i'm scared... if my parents knew about this i don't think they'll get worried.. they'll..... ..... ......
Thx for the link,i needed help but im to scared to talk to real people. I know people care about me, but what if i wasnt here, what would it change. They would cry for awile, then they would cremate me, then store me in a storage room and forget about me. Just another jar of ashes. No one will know us in a couple decades. Im just another one of the suicidal people in the world that we could do without. We all use resources like food, water, money, but why do we try. We all die someday, what is the point of anything. Its like love, you find someone, they break up with you and your sad for awile, but in the end it doesn't matter. The news would read "man found with wrist slit" but would it matter? Im just another person that will be forgotten. Im not important, im not useful, im not... anything. Just a waste of grave yard room...
This game is probably a real "just @ me next time" to a lot of us, myself included; and the flow of it is hauntingly accurate. Truthfully I had myself a good cry while going through the different story paths. It was pretty refreshing to become so immersed. Glad to see someone speaking on this topic on the gaming scene and I very much thank you for that. :) Keep up the great work I'll definitely be looking forward to seeing what else you put out here.
This Is The Best Thing Ive Played This Game Resembles Me Actually Thank You Author For Giving Me Inspiration And Stuff This Stuff Is Deep As Hell Oh Btw Filipino Din Ako Hahahahahhahah Hello Po
This is such a deep message and you did amazingly with how you presented it just a quick tip maybe in the description or something a suicide hotline just in case because this is a way too spread awareness
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bro there are filipino words
It's because Filipino po ako.
:))
BRUHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SAD SOMEONE HELP ME IM CRYING
Just let it all out. Crying can actually help ;; u ;;
first ever game that made me cry. thank you for making this.
Thank you for taking the time to play it and show your appreciation for the game <3
I GENUINELY BURSTED INTO TEARS
please stay hydrated!!!
i loved this because i feel it so deep
thank you please take care of yourself
The art was beautiful
i'm glad you liked it!!
Damn it, im cryin
make sure to drink water after
i love this
thank you ;u;
:)
:D
I am 17 years old almost 18. I have dealt with suicidal thoughts since I could remember. I always thought I was a burden and that any misfortune that fell on my mom was my fault. I got sexually abused when was 4 by cousin of my stepdad. Then when I was 15 up until I was 16 by my stepdad who I had know all my life and considered my father. When I finally told my mom, everything that I held in and ignored came out. My thoughts of suicide became so loud that I could not ignore anymore. And at times everything becomes too much for me that I can't function normally. And I wish I could reach out to my mom but she has so much on her plate that have to comfort myself. If I ever have anxiety or a panic attack I calm myself down. But it always comes back without fail. No matter how much I want to end it I remind myself how selfish I am. And although I feel guilt and shame for having those thoughts I have stay for my mom who has been through so much for me. But I unfortunately feel so alone.
It was so beautiful and I has struck a chord within me. I am very thankful for this game.
Ive had suicidal thoughts for awile now to, crying myself to sleep thinking about where ill end up, never really believed in god, but we all end up somewhere, whether it be a good job, or all over a sidewalk next to a building. But i have things in my life to keep me here, a caring bf and a stable family and life. Well im shaking because this is a sensitive topic for me and 1 of the 3 things that make me cry emotionally, so i hope your life gets better, and you dont end up like me, someone who wants to die, but is to scared to slide the knife.
I know it can be painful to live because we may be anchored by external forces. I used to think that the love people gave me is something bad and that they should stop giving me so much love so I can finally get rid of myself.
Honestly, I still suffer from suicidal ideation and it takes me awhile before I can get back up.
But right now, I think I was wrong for convicting the love that people gave me. It's something they so openly gave and yet I kept thinking that it was nothing but a hindrance to my permanent rest and bliss. I still do want some rest but I think I've learned that I don't need to be gone so soon.
There's still a lot of things I want to learn, so many things I want to try to do once I'm better, so many stories I want to know, and so many things I want to create. These things I lose sight of when I'm back in that really dark abyss of self-loathing but time and time again the bonds that I have helped me remember. These bonds aren't exclusive to family and friends as well. There's much media I've consumed that helped on keeping me alive. I'm hoping that the stuff I make is something that can do that as well.
When you're having a hard time, I hope you give yourself more time to appreciate how far you've come and the people you cherish. I hope that you're able to find inner peace or at least find enough love and determination to keep going forward.
How are you now?
I think I know how you feel when it comes to not being able to open up to others knowing that they're already struggling with their own problems. You have to learn how to deal with yourself and whatever's bringing you down. It's hard and it takes a lot of courage to keep going. I hope that you're doing better now and that you're able to say the things you want to say to the people important to you.
Honestly, I think I've come to terms knowing that my depression will never really be gone. I don't think it'll be completely gone for anyone as well. Now it's just a matter of learning how to live with it and finding the things that give me life. Finding things that make me love myself again is something I'm trying my best to do everyday.
A lot of times I can't do this on my own and I am lucky to have friends and family. Not everyone is as fortunate. I hope that this past year you were able to healthily deal with loneliness, love yourself, and even gain more fruitful relationships that help you as a person.
Thank you for playing the game and I wish you the best.
This is so sad, Im glad there's a good ending
I hope you get a "good ending" in life as well. Please take care
;-;
;; u ;;
just took a trip through all the options depressing myself just to find a secret "no" option at the end... :(
Where?
oh
Hey, why im cryin over this simple game? i even replayin this game more than 5 times and the tears still come
I've been considering suicide for a while. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you for reminding me people still love me.
Bro, I looked for this type of games, just to motivate me. I started crying for it. It's beautiful.
It's scary how much I was like this just a year ago. Change is hard, really really hard, but it's worth it. It just took a long time to find something worth fighting for.
This story hits hard and gives the message straight to the point. (I almost started tearing up when the sister started going "Ate??") Thank you for making this.
This made me tear up a lot. It makes me sad this happens every single day :(
I'm saddened by the fact that this can happen to anyone, anytime...
...
i was bout to cry
very well written, cried and all. reminds me of me.. this made me stay alive, thank you
hey are you ok?
thanks for this story it was nice i know what to say now guess i'll die now...
Please don't.
That last choice, that last choice was really hard. I wished I could have chosen all the options. Nice game! It affected me more than I expected.
This game was what I needed to stay alive tonight. Thank you.
//TW it's scary how much i relate to this,, this is v accurate to my experience last year. i think it's hard to think about but also really important for us to understand depression and ideation in order to make it less taboo and make it more comfortable for everyone to reach out. amazing game,, i loved it
Such a good game! Really well made and lovely art work. It really gave me the feels.
This is a really well written game. Very sad and difficult to grapple with. I think you're onto something here. Keep working at it and you might have a story that might change many lives for the better, preferably without the loss of lives.
This game is good, and i'm depressed.(i made an account because of this.)
i am from the philippines and it seems the creator too,(i guess)
I have a depression since i was 6 years old, i am so depressed and tired of my life.
Keep talking to myself saying "Why do i exist? do i need to live? i'm nothing, i'm useless, i'm helpless, i'm a mistaken child, i don't deserve a family. I just want to die while smiling, my heart hurts so bad every night i cry ti'll my eyes hurt. But this is fine, i want to be tortured." Sometimes i laugh insanely and hurt myself badly, i'm so tired so i promised myself when 3 strike, i kill myself. There's 2 strikes and my end is coming near, i keep giving up because of bully. They judge me for who i am, but they only became my friend because i'm funny. I have a one best friend, who only truly understands me, i am addicted to online games because people who's on online games understands me too like my best friend. I have a one classmate who likes to ruin everything to my life, and i always smile even it hurts. This is true, "The nicest person gets hurt a lot the most." When i was 8 i point a knife into my neck, but my family came so it didn't happen. If i didn't kill myself and i turned 18, i'll start killing people. I'm just wasting my life, promise aren't meant to be broken, so i did the 3 strike. I always sing when i'm alone because they hate when i sing, but sing well. But they do not like me so they don't like anything to me, my parents only cares about my grades. So i don't tell anything about my exams or anything, because when they see it, they're dissapointed and probably ground me. My family keep saying to me "Your nothing but a naive child!" "Your so stupid!" "You don't know nothing in the world!" "your so lazy!" my sister agrees too..."youre so annoying" "i won't ever love you" "buy your own!" "faster! i don't have much time!" "ahaha your ugly ____." i have many more problems in this world, can't fight my depression. "I'm not perfect, they want me to be perfect."
Sadness is always on me
Knifes always in my body
Words In my body
People hate me
i just want to die.
Please don't kill yourself. You never know, something good might be waiting for you in the future. Have you seen a doctor/therapist? I think getting professional help would be good for you.
I didn't get any Doctor/therapist, i'm only 11.. but i think like a mature person.
You can try this service: https://www.7cups.com
But I recommend going to a licensed therapist and talking about this with your parents. If you are unable to talk about this with your parents please go to your local counselor (if you have a school counselor you could try that) or contacting a crisis center. You may refer to this link if ever you feel suicidal again: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
You need to take steps to get better. It's ultimately your choice. Please take care of yourself.
I don't want anyone in real life to know this... i'm scared... if my parents knew about this i don't think they'll get worried.. they'll..... ..... ......
You need someone to talk to about this. Preferably a professional.
I suggest checking this link out: http://www.silakbo.ph/help/
I hope you get help soon. Sorry if I can't personally help you...
Thx for the link,i needed help but im to scared to talk to real people. I know people care about me, but what if i wasnt here, what would it change. They would cry for awile, then they would cremate me, then store me in a storage room and forget about me. Just another jar of ashes. No one will know us in a couple decades. Im just another one of the suicidal people in the world that we could do without. We all use resources like food, water, money, but why do we try. We all die someday, what is the point of anything. Its like love, you find someone, they break up with you and your sad for awile, but in the end it doesn't matter. The news would read "man found with wrist slit" but would it matter? Im just another person that will be forgotten. Im not important, im not useful, im not... anything. Just a waste of grave yard room...
s/u/i/c/i/d/e is really high here in the philippines, you didnt get that wrong :((
it's something that i've been going through too, d/e/p/r/e/s/s/i/o/n and what-not
but the possibility of different endings is inevitable, thank you for making this game
This game is probably a real "just @ me next time" to a lot of us, myself included; and the flow of it is hauntingly accurate. Truthfully I had myself a good cry while going through the different story paths. It was pretty refreshing to become so immersed. Glad to see someone speaking on this topic on the gaming scene and I very much thank you for that. :) Keep up the great work I'll definitely be looking forward to seeing what else you put out here.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked the game.
This hit me hard. Thank you a lot for creating this game.
hi worsty
thank you for making this.. lately I've been having those thoughts and its been really bad, but this helped me out. thank you
I'm glad it helped you out ;u;
I honestly have no words! this is an amazing and inspiring game!
Thank you very much! 😊
This Is The Best Thing Ive Played This Game Resembles Me Actually Thank You Author For Giving Me Inspiration And Stuff This Stuff Is Deep As Hell Oh Btw Filipino Din Ako Hahahahahhahah Hello Po
I'm glad it gave you inspiration :)
Kaya mo yan!
This is such a deep message and you did amazingly with how you presented it just a quick tip maybe in the description or something a suicide hotline just in case because this is a way too spread awareness
This game was really special. Super powerful message. I loved it :)
Thank you so much for playing my game! I'm glad you like it :)
Really like the game; and interesting way to make a game talking about these kind of themes